


scoopin troopin and gay recruitin

by PastyAndDeels



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Gay Will Byers, Gen, Hints at Bisexual Mike?, Jonathan is the most supportive person, Lesbian Robin, M/M, Robin and Steve are an iconic duo, So does Will, They can't flirt with girls to save their lives, a few swears were used, no angst here just comedy and fluff, only difference is the mall survived, robin does some coming out, scoops troop forever, semi-canon I guess?, this is the most crack fic thing I've ever written, would die for him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-10 07:27:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19902016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastyAndDeels/pseuds/PastyAndDeels
Summary: Robin and Steve are debating how to flirt with customers, when Robin decides on a bet.Is Will gay? Is he really in love with Mike?Robin's gay intuition is saying yes. Steve doesn’t believe her. Maybe Jonathan knows the answers.





	scoopin troopin and gay recruitin

**Author's Note:**

> Nobody asked for this fic and it's 100% crack but that's how I like it!  
> Please leave kudos and comment if you enjoy/do not enjoy reading this, all feedback is useful :)  
> If you wanna talk to me or drop me a prompt, hmu on Tumblr (spacedust-sapphic)  
> Happy reading!

It was Summer 1985, and some of the residents of Hawkins, Indiana, had spent the last month recovering from an unfortunate series of events, of which it transpired that the Russian government was the cause. Despite the trauma of the multiple fatalities and the structural damage caused to city properties, morale had returned to the sleepy town, and business resumed as usual in the repaired mall.  
——  
“Ok, ok; pretend I’m some customers and try a pick-up line on me”.  
“How would you ladies like some free ice-cream?”  
“I say this in the nicest way possible, but you sound like you’re trying to get them in the back of your ice-cream truck, so you can kidnap them”.  
“Maybe that would be easier?”  
“Steve, no. Kidnap is not legal, and definitely not a strong start to a relationship”.  
Steve sighed, flopping forward onto the counter. He had been setting up the Scoops Ahoy ice-cream display with Robin, preparing for the hordes of people attempting to cool down from the blazing August sun.  
“What about you?” He asked, propping himself up onto one elbow. “Do you have any pick-up lines?”  
Robin laughed, although her expression seemed to display more sadness than amusement. “You know that’s not fair, Steve. Even if I had the best pick-up lines in the world, it’s not exactly like I could test them out”.  
“I bet you could”.  
Robin raised a quizzical eyebrow. “On who? I can’t use your approach of hitting on every girl that walks into Scoops, hoping that maybe one of them just happens to also be into girls”.  
Steve paused, pondering her point. A moment later, he snapped his fingers and stood up abruptly, starling Robin. “My kids!”  
Robin groaned, questioning her colleague’s sanity for at least the fourth time that morning. “How are your children supposed to be able to help us in this situation, dingus?”  
Steve walked over to a cupboard, rummaging around until he found what he was after.  
“Aha! With these,” he proclaimed, brandishing a pair of binoculars. “I stole them from Dustin. We can spy on the customers, stake them out, see if they’re gay and BOOM! You can test out your shitty pick-up lines!”  
Robin contemplated Steve’s plan, weighing up the pros and cons in her head. Eventually, she appeared to settle on a conclusion. “Ok, deal. But first of all, my pick-up lines will not be shitty. And secondly-“  
She walked over to Steve, deftly taking the binoculars out of his hand. “We won’t be needing these”.  
“Wha-“ Steve started to protest, but Robin quickly silenced him.  
“Remember the kid in our year, Andy? Who told everyone he was gay last semester? And nobody had suspected it?”  
Steve slowly nodded, unsure where Robin was going with her point.  
“I knew, Steve. I knew before he told anyone. Call it intuition, telepathy, whatever you want. I knew. Maybe even before he did”.  
Steve stared at her, dumbfounded. “Like, a superpower?”  
“I guess,’ Robin shrugged. “Let’s find out”.  
——  
Two hours later, Scoops Ahoy was teeming with customers, and Robin and Steve were in full swing.  
“Centre table. Green dress”.  
“She’s holding hands with the boy next to her, I’d say that’s a solid sign that she’s tragically heterosexual”.  
“What about the table in front?”  
“Steve, that is a literal grandmother”.  
Steve scrunched up his nose and glared at Robin, handing an ice-cream over to the small girl at the counter. “I obviously meant the one next to her. Her granddaughter”.  
Robin looked over again, noticing the girl this time. She had long, dark hair, and was wearing a red and black plaid shirt. The girl looked up and saw Robin staring at her, but instead of averting her gaze, the girl smiled shyly and waved.  
“Oh shit,” Steve whispered, watching the interaction. “She likes you”.  
Robin scoffed. “What? No she doesn’t, she was just being polite.”  
“Uh uh, she likes you,” Steve sang, smirking at the colour rising to Robin’s cheeks.  
“Stop.”  
“Nope. I know love, remember?”  
Robin narrowed her eyes, dubious of Steve’s comment. “You don’t know shit, Harrington”.  
Steve feigned shock, gasping mockingly and placing a hand over his heart. “I am wounded”.  
“Oh my God,” Robin muttered, turning back to face the shop. “Anyone else?”  
Steve scanned the shop, his eyes finally landing on a booth in the far corner. “That table”.  
Robin followed his gaze. “Those are boys, young boys? That’s not what I’m-“ she cut herself off, suddenly realising who she was looking at. “Steve, those are your children.”  
“Yeah, I know,” Steve nodded. “Do you think any of them are gay?”  
“Funnily enough, I’m not in the business of exposing young teenagers as gay before they’re ready to come out,” Robin quipped, crossing her arms.  
Steve side-stepped closer to her, putting his hands on his hips. “But?”  
“The small one. With the big brown eyes and the bowl cut.”  
“Will?”  
Robin hummed in agreement.  
Steve dropped his arms to his sides and cocked his head, as if he was trying to get a better view of the children. Lucas waved across the store at him and Steve absent-mindedly waved back, his mind processing Robin’s thoughts.  
“No… Will’s not gay. He’s just… underdeveloped. Spent a lot of time not focused on girls, what with being kidnapped and trapped in the upside-down”.  
Robin laughed. “Whatever you say, Mother Steve, but I’m willing to bet that I’m right”.  
“$5?” bargained Steve, not one to refuse a bet.  
Robin nodded. “Deal”.  
As she moved forward to shake Steve’s hand, Robin hesitated, before looking over his shoulder and drawing her hand back. Steve blinked at the gap, confused.  
Robin averted her gaze back to Steve. “I can make this more interesting”.  
“Go on”.  
“I bet you another $5 that he’s in love with Mike”.  
——  
The next day, Scoops Ahoy was just as busy. Steve was around the back, frantically searching for more Rocky Road ice-cream, leaving Robin alone to deal with any customers. She had her back to the till as she cleaned the desktop behind her, until she heard a familiar voice.  
“Hey”.  
Robin turned around, smiling as she came face to face with Jonathan Byers. “Hey”.  
“Is your boyfriend around?” Jonathan asked, realising Steve was not behind the counter.  
Robin’s hand flung to her mouth in an attempt to conceal her laughter. “My boyfriend?”  
A puzzled look crossed Jonathan’s face. “Steve? Are you two not together?”  
“Steve Harrington. Me? And Steve Harrington? God no,” she laughed.  
Jonathan looked surprised. “Oh. I just thought you were. You guys seem real close”.  
“We are close, he’s just… really not my type”.  
“Seriously? Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington isn’t your type?” Jonathan gasped, unironically.  
Robin studied Jonathan’s face for second, before deciding that he may as well know why. “No. I- I like girls”.  
“Oh,” Jonathan mused. “That’s pretty cool”.  
“Yeah,” Robin breathed, feeling guilty at the slight apprehension she had felt before telling him.  
They both stood in amicable silence for a moment, processing what had just happened.  
Robin broke the silence. “Hey Jonathan? Can I ask you a question?”  
Jonathan nodded. “Yeah. Of course”.  
Robin rubbed her nose, looking Jonathan in the eyes. “Is Will gay? I don’t want to overstep or anything, but he gives me a vibe, y’know? I was just thinking that if he was, maybe it would be reassuring for him to know that I’m here, that I’m gay and I’m ok”.  
Jonathan opened his mouth and closed it again several times, his face expressing many different emotions.  
“I- I don’t know,” he pondered, his voice brimming with uncertainty. Robin’s words had clearly struck home. Jonathan had never considered his brother’s sexuality before, but the more that he thought about it, the more sense it made.  
He furrowed his eyebrows. “I should go and speak to him. Find out. Gotta let him know that I love him, no matter what. See ya!”  
Jonathan turned around, practically running out of Scoops.  
Robin chuckled, shaking her head. “Jonathan!”  
He whipped around. “Yeah?”  
“You not wanna talk to Steve anymore? He’s only round the back”.  
Jonathan laughed. “Nah, I’ve got more important things to do. I’ll leave you alone with your boyfriend”.  
Robin stuck up her middle finger playfully. “Fuck you, Byers. Get out of my store”.  
——  
Twenty minutes later, Jonathan stepped into his house, flinging his car keys onto the nearest surface. He knew that his Mom would be at work, and judging by the bike abandoned in the driveway, Will was somewhere in the house.  
The faint sound of a mixtape Jonathan had made last week echoed through the corridors, informing him that Will was in his bedroom. Silently, Jonathan slid up the stairs, until he was standing in the doorway to Will’s room. His younger brother was sat on his bed with his back to the door, singing quietly while he sketched something.  
Jonathan tapped the doorframe lightly. Will jumped and whipped his head around, shoving his artwork under the duvet.  
“What?”  
Jonathan smiled slightly at his brother’s guilty expression; simultaneously wondering what he was hiding, and knowing what the answer would be. He moved into the room, sitting down on the end of the bed.  
“Do you remember when you said that you were a freak, but I told you that there was nothing wrong with that? That I would love you anyway?”  
Will eyed his brother up suspiciously, unsure of the point of this sudden inquisition. “Yeah, why?”  
“Did you say it because of the whole Mind Flayer thing? Or-“ he pulled his legs up onto the bed so that he was sat cross-legged, before continuing in a softer tone. “Did you mean something else? Something that I didn’t catch onto?”  
Will opened his mouth in a short-lived attempt to deny that there was a hidden meaning to his words, before closing it again. He sighed, bowing his head. “I thought you understood what I was saying at the time. But then you said that you were a freak too, and I knew that you didn’t get it. That you didn’t notice my metaphor”.  
Jonathan patted Will’s arm affectionately. “So what were you trying to say?” he coaxed. “What did you really mean?”  
Will drew his legs into his chest, making himself as small as he could. He wasn’t trying to avoid the confrontation, and it wasn’t like he didn’t want to tell his brother, but he was still scared. These words. He had never said them out loud before, and now they stayed lodged in his throat, refusing to be spoken. He drew a long breath, before finally being able to talk again.  
“I- I don’t like girls. Not the way Mike does. Not the way other boys do. When I think of being in a relationship, I don’t see myself with a girl. I see myself with a boy, and that’s what I meant when I said I was a freak. I’m not normal. I’m gay”.  
His voiced cracked on the final word, and Jonathan pulled him into a hug. He didn’t say any words, but Will didn’t need any verbal confirmation that his brother had accepted him. They stayed intertwined for a few minutes, until Jonathan pulled away.  
“Y’know, I was talking to Robin at Scoops earlier,” he alluded. “Turns out? She’s gay too. She likes girls”.  
Will gasped. “You mean… I’m not the only freak in Hawkins?”  
Jonathan laughed. “I wouldn’t go calling her a freak to her face, she’d probably knock you out. But if you ever need any advice, or someone who’s been through the same things as you, I’m sure she would be more than happy to help you”. He winked, before adding “maybe you’d even get free ice-cream”.  
Will smiled, looking his brother in the eye. “Thank you. For everything”.  
——  
Robin was used to seeing many of the same faces every day at Scoops, but there was one group of children that always received the same reaction.  
“Hey dingus, your children are here,” she yelled in Steve’s general vicinity, hoping he would come and claim them before the other regulars got suspicious.  
Within seconds, Steve’s head had popped around the store-room door. “Ahoy!” he greeted, high-fiving each of them as he ushered them through the door.  
Will hung back from the rest of his friends, loitering by the door as Steve joked around with Dustin’s new hat. “Hey, Robin?” he asked, his voice edged with wariness. “Can I talk to you? Somewhere more… private?”  
Robin smiled at the boy, knowing what this meant. “Give me one second”.  
Will nodded, and Robin turned towards Steve. “Hey, dingus! Come back out here and do your job, I need to get more cookie dough out before Erica threatens to sue us for breach of contract. Again!”  
Steve groaned, dragging his feet as he returned to the tills. He pouted at Robin as she walked around the back, closely followed by Will.  
Robin pushed the door slightly closed as they walked into the stockroom, wanting to give Will privacy without alerting Steve to the fact that she wasn’t just getting more ice-cream. She turned to Will, lifting herself up to sit on the countertop.  
“What’s up, little buddy?”  
Will studied her face for a second, taking in her expression. Something about her told him that she knew what he was going to say, and he wasn’t sure whether that comforted him or not. He shoved his hands in his pockets, before bluntly saying “I was talking to Jonathan earlier, and he said that you like girls”.  
Robin blinked, a little taken aback by Will’s forthrightness. “Um, yeah,” she confirmed. “That’s… correct”.  
Will smiled, his nerves dissipating and his shoulders visibly relaxing at this confirmation. “Me too. Not the liking girls, the being gay part. I like boys!”  
“That’s great kid, welcome to the club!” Robin slid off the countertop and gently placed her hand on Will’s shoulder. “If you ever need to talk about anything, I’m here. I’ll understand.”  
Will gratefully nodded. “Thank you,” he mouthed, a slight lump in his throat.  
A playful grin flickered across Robin’s face. Maybe it was the way the younger boy had eased so quickly when she had divulged her sexuality, but something was telling her to push him a little further. After all, she did have a whole $10 riding on this.  
“Sooo, you got a crush on anyone?”  
Will’s eyes widened and his cheeks flushed a dark crimson. “No?” he offered, bowing his head and silently praying Robin would believe him. She didn’t.  
Robin laughed. “Oh my god, you are such a bad liar! Who is it?”  
A defeated sigh escaped Will’s lips. He raised his head, slightly cringing at the thought of telling someone that he liked his best friend. A lot.  
“It’s Mike,” he declared, knowing that Robin would catch him out if he lied again.  
Robin’s eyes sparkled and she opened up her mouth to reply, but before she could speak, the back door swung open.  
Almost as if he had been summoned, Mike stepped into the room. “Will! What are you doing? We’re gonna miss the start of the movie if you don’t hurry up,” he chastised, oblivious to the previous conversation.  
Mike walked over to Will and grabbed his hand, dragging him towards the door.  
Robin laughed at the older boy’s dramatic entrance, alerting him to her presence in the room. Mike waved a half-hearted greeting to her, before continuing to drag Will into the back corridor, towards the cinema.  
Will shot Robin a look she could only decipher as meaning ’help me’.  
She winked back at him, mouthing “go get it”, only to be met with his middle finger as he disappeared out of view.  
Robin chuckled to herself, grabbing the cookie dough ice-cream out of the freezer and returning to the front of the store. As she turned around from replacing the empty ice-cream carton, she came face to face with Steve, who had been loitering behind her.  
“Whoa, dingus, personal space!” she teased, stepping backwards.  
Steve fumbled around in his pocket for something. “Sorry. I, uh, believe I owe you this,” he announced, handing her $5 bill. “They really need to make that store room more soundproof.”  
Robin accepted the note, although she looked quizzically at Steve. “Have you forgotten that the bet was for $10? I was right in both parts”.  
“Nuh uh,” retorted Steve. “You cheated. It was against the rules to straight up ask Will if he liked anyone. You were supposed to get him to tell you without you prompting him”.  
Robin scoffed. “There were no rules specified at the time of the deal, dingus”.  
“You shouldn’t need the rules explaining! You’re a grown woman!” Steve protested, clearly exasperated.  
“You’re just a sore loser”.  
“Am not”.  
“Are too”.  
“Am not”.  
“Whatever. You still owe me $5”.


End file.
